BLACKSBURG – During the 2019 Virginia Tech Women's Soccer season, three of its underclassmen suffered season-ending ACL injuries – each about a month apart. All three, Holly Rose Weber, Emily Gray and Sydney Ash, are eyeing a 2020 return to the field as they continue to rehab their injuries during the current climate.
Over this two-week period, each will be featured in a Q&A series as they answer questions about how it happened, how they are getting through the recovery process and how the current situation could be a blessing in disguise for them. Please enjoy the second with Emily Gray, while there is a link at the bottom of the story to view the previous one on Weber.
The 16th-ranked Hokies were headed to Charlottesville to face No. 1 Virginia in a matchup of unbeatens on September 26. Tech was off to its second-best start in program history at 9-0 after a 2-0 win in its home opener against Miami. Emily Gray scored both of those goals, and both game winners the weekend prior in 1-0 wins over the College of Charleston and UNC Wilmington on her way to being named the MVP of the Battle by the Beach tournament.
Unfortunately, shortly after the opening whistle against the Cavaliers, Gray was tracking back to get a ball and, before she knew it was on the ground. She had just suffered the worst injury of her soccer career, as she tore her left ACL.
Q: Can you recall how the injury happened?
EG: "It happened about four minutes into our game at UVA. What I remember is that the ball was cleared by someone on our team and I was running back toward the ball and the UVA right back was really close to me. She was on my back and I was trying to shield the ball from her. I knew she was bigger than me, so I think I was trying to use my body to spin her and take advantage of my size, but the circumstances didn't allow me to do that. She kind of wrapped her body around me and left me nowhere else to go. And then, BAM! It just happened; I tore my ACL.
"I knew it right away and, I've seen people tear their ACLs on my team before, so I know the sound of the pop and the cry and the emotion that goes to your brain when it happens. I always wondered is the pop just an internal thing or can others hear it. But I have heard it. When Jess Boytim tore hers last year, we were all right there and we heard it. So, when I tore mine – it's kind of a mixture of both. You hear it with your ears, but you also hear it with your body."
Q: What were your thoughts, knowing the process of what you'd have to do to come back?
EG: "Before this, I've never had to sit out for more than two weeks ever. So, I knew right away when it happened on the field, I was thinking 'Wow, I'm not going to play soccer for nine months.' My goal was to go to the U20 World Cup, which was supposed to be this summer, but it's now postponed – luckily for me, but I didn't know it at the time. I was so hyped for this game. We were undefeated. We were playing UVA and they were undefeated. And I was just riding the emotions from last year's game and it all just came crashing down in one second. I was playing the best soccer I've been since coming to Tech – the best shape, the best form since I've been in college – and I was also thinking in my head that I was letting my team down, even though it was out of my control. The circumstances of what had happened and when it happened, it was so early in the game. I was just hoping my teammates weren't thinking about me and my injury, and that was taking away what they needed to be thinking about, the game and UVA.
"My emotions after, I pretty much knew that was what the injury was, so I just tried to stay positive. My birthday was actually the next weekend and my parents were already planning on coming down for the games. So, I cried so much from the time that I got hurt to the time that I got surgery and my mom just told me 'Just let it all out!" And I did, I got it all out and from then on, I've only tried to stay positive and looking forward. I've had a lot of people, both here on my team and those from home, that have given me so much support. Instead of the typical 'Prove them wrong' motivations, for me, I'm been thinking about 'Proving people right.' There are so many people that, before my injury, believed in me and after, I'm getting words of support like 'If anyone can get through this, it's you!' So, that's my mindset moving forward, proving them right."
Q: You've never gone through this before, but you had current teammates who were and had gone through it, how did they help you through this time?
EG: "I know it's very common for women's soccer teams to have a lot of ACL injuries, but our team, if you count the players who have torn it multiple times, it's a lot, so there were plenty of people to give me that support. Specifically, Kelsey Irwin, as one of the leaders on the team, she was on top of making sure that this wouldn't define me. Same with my roommate Nicole Kozlova. I knew people, when I was younger, who went through ACLs, but I lived with Nicole. I witnessed everything she did and the mindset that she had. We have a similar mindset and we are both motivated the same, so seeing the way in which she went through it has helped me.
"As far as Holly and Sydney. When Holly went down, I was right near her. Whenever someone goes down with an ACL injury, whether I know them or not, I'm devastated for them, even before I tore mine. So, when Holly went down, I felt so bad for her, because I knew that she had torn it before and Lilly (Weber, her sister) had torn hers the season before and I just felt bad for the Weber family. Then for the rest of the games, after Holly's injury, I wore white tape on my wrist and I wrote Holly's name on it. I don't even think she knows that. It was just something that I did. I was playing for someone other than myself. Then I tore mine and a month after me, Sydney tears hers. So, going through it with them helps a lot. I think we all look at each other for different reasons. I'm the oldest, so they look at me for the maturity aspect and knowing the grind of college soccer and knowing how to use the training room and using all your resources to get through this, because they are both freshmen and were still relatively new to college. I looked to Holly because she had gone through this before. And both of them equally, they kept me young through all of it and made me have fun and not just be sad for myself. So, I think we all helped each other in different ways."
Q: All three of you are all at different stages of the recovery process, where are you currently?
EG: "I probably was on track to be cleared within the next month, so I'm almost at seven months out – I was probably going to be cleared in May. Right after we were supposed to come back from spring break, I was supposed to have functional testing, which is the first round of testing that the PTs do to see where you are at and to start clearing you for joining the team sessions. So, I was probably going to be cleared for that, but not enough that I would have been playing contact soccer. I would have been able to join technical training and then as April moved forward, I would have been doing non-contact training.
"I didn't get to do the test, but I had been doing all the stuff that was on the test before break, so they say where I was at and Julie, our trainer, she cleared me for cutting anyway. So, now that is basically what I am doing and I feel like myself again with the ball and I'm able to do pretty much everything, just not any crazy cutting. Nobody is watching me do anything, so I can't do too much, even though I feel like I can. Right now, I just do fitness at least three days a week and do my rehab plus strength and conditioning workouts. I'm at a good place, but I'm missing the part of being with a team, training, because it's not the same intensity as just doing it on your own."
Q: How are you doing with recovery during these current times, not at Tech?
EG: "I feel like lucky, because I'm at a spot in my recovery that I don't need someone there. In the first three months, you need hands-on help. Even at four or five months, you need someone to watch your every movement to make sure that your recovery is going well. Sometimes, it's easy to forget that you actually had surgery. Now, where I'm at, months six and seven, I'm able to do the running, the jumping more on my own and the cutting. You can do all the asymmetric work without equipment, but definitely the equipment would help a lot. That's the part where everyone in the student-athlete landscape is missing out on, the equipment part. We don't have a squat rack, or the specific machines to work on. We don't have an athletic trainer able to be there to help out. That part's tough, but at this point, I'm kind of at the same point where if I wasn't injured – I'm at that point."
Q: How is school going for you during this process?
EG: "It's been pretty good, I only have one Zoom class that I have to check into twice a week, so it hasn't been too bad. I'm a person that thrives when everything is moving so fast – that's kind of the life of a student-athlete. And when we're at school, everything's set and we have a schedule and I feel like we have no time in the day and I kind of like it like that and I do better in school that way. It forces you to do things on time. I'm still getting things done, but it seems like life has slowed down a bit and I don't think I like it like that. But we have to do it because of this whole situation."
Q: With the current situations, by the time you get back to school, everyone will be around the same place – not having played competitive soccer for a couple of months. Is that encouraging to know?
EG: "I actually said something to Julie about that the other day, because my worst fear when I got injured was that this would be a whole nine months of everyone getting better, while I'm recovering. I'm usually the person that's doing the extra work and trying to get better on my own at home. I thought it was nine months, but in reality, it's like six months, then you can start getting on that grind again. It definitely helps knowing that, because when I go out every day, I feel like I'm putting in the work to be ready and everybody is kind of at an equal place right now. So, that kind of helps my mindset a little bit. Right now, we're all losing this time with equipment in the weight room and training room, so when we get back, I'll want to take that time to get all built back up anyway, so that I can be at the best place to be successful."
Previous ACL injury Q&A's